Ah yes. The Burdened One. Ten of Scepters. The burden of obligation.
When this card showed itself at the beginning of the month, I assumed it would be with work what with all of the wands. I saw that coming. There's been a massive uptick in that realm, and I was planning a work trip during this 2nd week, so this didn't surprise me. With it being a 10, I just figured, ok, I've gotta muscle through this week and just manage all of it the best I can knowing it would be somewhat finite.
What I didn't quite see coming was my daughter having a full on meltdown.
Her beast of burden: dyslexia.
We've been here in this place before, and typically I can talk her out of it. We've discussed in every possible way why we have her go to the reading specialist, give concrete examples of how it is helping, also explain that we hold privilege and as such have resources to do this and we must honor it, and on and on.
However, in this moment, during this week, this was not at all what she needed. She needed to let out how this is impacting her. She's in this constant state of doing homework and then her dyslexia exercises. Monday's are hard. She doesn't get time to do her schoolwork at the end of the day because we're off to the reading specialist and then don't get home until around 7:00PM. Then she goes to do her assignments.
It's a lot, and her overriding feeling of needing to get it all done on this particular Monday had built and built and built. So much so that she was in an out and out refusal to even walk into the office. In hindsight, I understand that for her the act of walking in is just a tangible reminder she's got this thing she's gotta deal with. Always. This isn't something that goes away.
She lashed out in ways that I hadn't before seen. For my girl, that's pretty big. She's such a sweet and kind soul at her core that to see her like that - well, I couldn't even be upset with how she lashed out. She was at her point, and I needed to give her the space to be there.
Thankfully Dr. C., as we call her, has this way with her..........and me, too, to be honest. I'm fairly certain Dr. C. should be sainted. Long story short we're implementing some steps and ways that we can ensure she doesn't get to this point again - or at least any time soon - because.........well, life, right?
The lesson from The Burdened One is to try to have a conscious moment during the times you are just overwhelmed with obligation. Easier said than done, yet, if we can we should remember this: We break down to rebuild and start over. If we need to stop and unload before we take what we learned and keep going, then know this is necessary. So it is and so it shall be.
The Warrior Rx (aka The Sun)?
Again, this whole feeling of "almost but not quite".
I don't know how successfully I resolved all of that meltdown. I don't know that I was a true Warrior/Leo Momma for my daughter in the way I should have been or could have been. In that sense there is this burden that weighs on me. It's all a learning for me, too - figuring out what works and what doesn't work as a parent.
Alright - on we go.